We love Tee Ball, yes we DO!

Wesley is playing tee ball this fall! He loves it - it's been a much better fit for him than Upwards flag football last fall. Last year he had just turned five so he barely made the cut-off and (unbeknownst to us) it was that church's first year of doing Upwards. They weren't able to recruit enough players to create a team entirely out of little ones, so poor Wes was stuck on a mixed team of older & younger players. Poor guy just didn't stand a chance. Wes couldn't outrun any of those boys so he never had the ball and he spent the entire season complaining that he was tired and wanted to go home. I give him credit for hanging in there the whole season. So this year we found a sport where not only is he NOT the youngest & smallest on the team, but each kid gets his "turn." Wes loves having his turns at bat and he is always counting down the days until his next practice or game.





Wesley has had four practices and one game, and we have yet to hear a single complaint. Every day when I pick him up from school, he'll say, "Mom, I have really exciting news..." and then he'll tell me how many days until his next practice or game. He was very sad when his 2nd game got rained out Thursday night. These pics were all taken during his first game, which was this past Monday (the 19th). As with Upwards football last fall, they randomly assign jersey numbers. Wesley was so excited when he got his uniform because he's #6, which coincidentally was his football number last fall. He says 6 must be his lucky number!





Wesley sending everyone home during his 2nd at bat. They don't keep score, but between you & me & the worldwide web, his team dominated. :o) None of our players were ever tagged out, but Wesley's team got several players on the other team out throughout the game. I'm not saying that was because of Wesley, but it's always good to be part of a team that knows what it's doing! The teams are all named after actual MLB teams - Wesley's team is the Detroit Tigers (which does its spring training in Lakeland). They were playing the Florida Marlins. -BELOW- Anna Kate cheering from the grandstand. Miss Debi & Alisha came to cheer Wesley on as well.





Wes looking around noticing that most of his teammates have un-tucked their shirts... so of course he quickly un-tucked his shirt. :o)





Carigan finds t-ball just thrilling... Clearly.





Go, Wesley, Go!





We were afraid it was going to rain on us, but instead we got a cool breeze and a beautiful rainbow!





Daddy giving Mommy a break so I could actually watch & cheer. -BELOW- End of the game handshakes. We've been super impressed with the coaches. Their only rules are 1. Have Fun and 2. Do Your Best. They are encouraging and never harsh, and they keep it light and fun. One of the coaches is actually an LCS parent, and several of the kids on Wesley's team are from LCS families as well, so we fit right in (and there are no potty-mouths in the grandstand!).





Yay Tigers!

See you soon

Susan sent me this postcard from Iowa (she would always pause after saying that word to wait for me to finish singing, "Oh I know, all I owe, I owe Eye-o-way..." from State Fair. She always knew it was coming!), but reading it today it almost seems like a postcard from Heaven. It's beautiful, there's golden stuff everywhere, she's with family... and who knows, maybe there are even butterflies & castles. But most of all, we DO miss you so very much, Susan, and we will see you soon.

Mr. Enthusiasm

This was Wesley's second year to get to participate in the Viking Dash during halftime at an LCS football game (Friday, Sept. 9). He is truly Mr. Enthusiasm. He gets to excited about everything... it's not hard to pump him up! That's him running directly behind the boy in a gray t-shirt.





They had a pep rally at school to kick-off Boosterthon, the school's big annual fundraiser. I had planned on attending but Carigan was still asleep when it was time to leave, so I decided to skip it. I wish I had woken her up, though, because my friend Heather was there and told me that Wesley volunteered to go up front and she said he was super-enthused... dancing all over the place with the pep rally guys that were trying to hype the crowd. Safe to say they achieved their goal with Wesley. He thinks Boosterthon is the most exciting thing EVER.

The kids collected pledges for each lap they would run during the Boosterthon Fun Run. Wes was ALL ABOUT IT. It's kind of funny because I remember how stressful it was for me as a kid to have to ask someone for money or to have to try to sell something, but Wesley was ready to come home and call every person he ever knew. I had to explain to him that we weren't going to call people that had their own kids, because they had their own schools to support. I told him he could only call people who didn't have kids yet or whose kids were already all grown up. He walked around with the phone for two days begging me to let him make calls. The Fun Run took place on Thursday (Sept. 15), and Wesley was the first kid out of the tunnel, running with one of the official Boosterthon guys. He ran so fast we almost missed his grand entrance!





The MC was leading the kids in warm-ups... here he had them doing "the sprinkler." Wesley won those sunglasses as one of his prizes for getting pledges, and he was very proud to be wearing them. -BELOW- Skipping during a warm-up lap... you think he's excited??





And he's OFF! He loved working the crowd, going around getting high-fives from everyone.





Walking with a friend during the buddy lap. They truly make it fun, designating each lap something different where they were supposed to do things like play an air guitar.





Wesley was among the first to reach the cap of 35 laps, and then he wanted me & Carigan to take him on a victory lap. Then he wanted Daddy to take him for another victory lap, and then Carigan and I went again, and then he kept running, looking for friends to help finish out their laps. He's never been the strongest or fastest kid when he plays sports with other kids his age, but he has endurance! He ability to keep focus and not run out of steam are his strengths.





Carigan has to be just like big brother; now that she's finished another lap she wants a drink from his bottle! Feeling mighty proud of herself. Boosterthon was a fun event, but it also sort of kicked off in my mind the difficult week ahead. Last year's Fun Run pics are the last pictures I posted before Susan died the following week, and they're the last pictures of mine she ever saw. I couldn't bring myself to scrapbook those photos for a very long time, because they were the last photos I had of before, when Susan was still here with us. In my mind there was (and still is) this significant separation of before and after we lost Susan, and I look at Boosterthon pictures from last year and all I can think about is the fact that our world was about to fall apart and we had no idea.

These past few days have been re-living those final days from last year. I had a meeting at Anna Kate's preschool on Friday, and as I left I noticed that the playground was set up for the annual Bear Hunt for the 3-year-old class. I cried all the way home. Last year I was the one that set up that bear hunt, and in the process I ended up getting some pretty severe fire ant bites. By that Friday evening my foot was hugely swollen and hot to the touch, and two of my nurse friends at the church event that night (the ladies event that was interrupted with the news that Vershontis had been shot) told me I had to go home and take some Benadryl. I am severely sensitive to Benadryl and it absolutely shuts me down for at least a day or two, but I didn't want to end up in the ER and Michael was home to watch the kids, so I went home and took two of the zonk-out antihistamines. I slept all day Saturday and Sunday so I missed both the second part of the ladies event on Saturday, which Susan attended, and church that Sunday morning, which was Susan's last. I get so angry at those stupid ants and that awful Benadryl that stole those final moments with Susan from me. It's just hard to be re-living all of the same events, big and small, from that week. I've been in a funk all weekend and we're still 4 days away from the actual anniversary of her death, so the next few days are going to be extraordinarily difficult for many people. Please keep her family, especially her parents George & Beverly and her sister Lisa in your prayers.

9/11 Remembered

My dad took me on a trip to New York City the summer after I graduated from college. I got my first glimpse of the World Trade Towers on July 18, 2001. They had only 53 days left to stand when this picture was taken.





Early on the morning of July 19, 2001, Dad and I took the subway from our hotel at 49th & 8th to the financial district and beat the rush by visiting the top of the World Trade Center first thing in the morning. This is a picture of Dad and I standing on top of the South Tower about the very same time of day that a plane crashed into it only 53 days later. I had just completed these pages in my scrapbook days before the 9/11 attacks. I had already placed my World Trade Center ticket stubs, brochures & pictures in this book so that decades later, I could remember my first experience on top of the World Trade Center.

Below is the brochure I carried around while standing on top of the South Tower. There was a guide to the city skyline on the back. I remember it being surprisingly quiet up there, and I was pleased that we were two of only a small handful of tourists that had made it to the top of the tower that early in the day.





I remember specifically thinking of the prior terrorist plot on the World Trade Center that took place in the nineties as I entered the South Tower and walked through the plaza and up several stairwells until we reached the elevators. I thought of it only because my mom's aunt had been in the WTC on that day, and I remember taking the time to reflect on the fear and panic that had taken place in this building years ago as I walked up the stairs. My mind could not have even grasped the fate that lay ahead for so many of the men and women I encountered in the South Tower that day. I remember my dad chatting with several employees at the observatory, including a cook in the restaurant. I remember how friendly they were, but most of all I remember that they were real people, and I recalled their faces as I watched the South Tower collapse live on television 53 days later.

The morning of September 11, 2001 I was in my little 2006 Toyota Corolla driving the back way through the neighborhood from my apartment off of Nicholasville Road in Lexington to my friend Jerri Ann's house to babysit her son Luke. Jerri Anna and her husband both worked from home and I babysat Luke in their home that summer and fall before starting my job at the Kentucky History Center in November. It was only a 5 minute drive, but my radio was always on and tuned in to K-LOVE. I was supposed to be at Jerri Ann's at 9 a.m., and just a couple of minutes before arriving, they announced on K-LOVE that there were reports that an airplane had struck one of the towers of the World Trade Center, and they said, "Let's pause for a minute and pray for this situation." I love Christian radio, but usually when a stranger starts to pray on air, I change the channel (don't get me wrong, I love me some prayer, but prayer on the radio had always been difficult for me to take to heart). But for the first time in my life, I joined the prayer with my whole heart. I found myself saying, "well Amen" and turning up the radio and praying with my eyes open until I reached Jerri Ann's. I assumed it was a small aircraft, and an accident. I went inside and as usual, Luke was in his highchair in just his white onesie, finishing up his breakfast. Marty was in the process of cleaning him up and getting him down. They did not have their TV on, but after greeting Luke and giving him a hug, I told Marty about the report I'd heard on the radio. He turned on his television and almost immediately we watched live as the second plane his the South Tower.

At first we were confused, thinking it was a replay of the first plane that had hit, but in the chaos that ensued on air, it became clear that what we had just watched had happened live. Marty called for Jerri Ann and she came out from where she had been getting ready and the three of us sat together while Jerri Ann held Luke tight and we watched the attack on America unfold before our eyes. It was truly terrifying. My mom was holding teacher orientation for her preschool that day, and I had told her I'd come with Luke and keep teachers' kids in the nursery. Time seemed to stand still, so I don't know how much time had passed, but eventually my mom called very irritated that I had been a no-show. I kept trying to explain to her what was going on, and she kept saying, "It doesn't matter, I still need your help here." I remember feeling so helpless trying to convey the gravity of what was happening to my mother, who was still very focused simply on her agenda and her responsibilities for the day. I remember telling her, "Mom, we're under attack. America is under attack." I reluctantly drove to the church building to help, leaving Luke behind with Jerri Ann because she couldn't stand to let him out of her arms. I will never forget driving down Nicholasville Road around 10:30 on the morning of September 11, 2001. It's the main drag of Lexington, 6-7 lanes wide, connecting the state's biggest mall with the UK campus and downtown. It was empty. My Corolla was the only car on the road. That was one of the most eerily surreal moments of the day. I really don't remember anything after arriving at the church building, except for me making a further attempt to tell Mom what was going on and her being determined to remained focused on her orientation. I honestly don't even remember if I watched any kids in a nursery or not. If I did, I don't remember it.

I don't remember if it was from a TV or a radio, but amidst the blur I remember my main focus was following reports regarding their attempts to account for all U.S. flights. I remember being well aware that the attack was still going on, and despite all the footage of the horrors in NYC, I switched stations again and again, honing in on reports on US aircraft... I wanted to know when the attack was over. Mom had planned on taking her teachers to lunch at O'Charley's after orientation, and I remember at some point during my drive to the restaurant they announced that all planes were accounted for. I remember arriving at O'Charley's and repeating to everyone over and over, "All planes are accounted for... all planes are accounted for." Shockingly, the restaurant remained open and they did serve us. But it was somewhat quiet and somber in the dining area as televisions around the bar area continued to display images from NYC and the Pentagon. My memories of those moments in my car and at Jerri Ann's that morning are still crystal clear, but everything from my time at the church building to being at the restaurant to what I did for the rest of the day or evening is very blurry or completely vacant.

I received a flood of e-mails that day from friends all over the world, especially in Germany where I had done mission work earlier that summer. I was so touched that the World was mourning with us. I didn't go back to my apartment the night of September 11. I think I just felt safer at home with my mom and dad in their home out in the country. I think there was a part of me that truly questioned whether the attack was over yet or not. I remember climbing into bed that night, emotionally exhausted. I was so aware that the day I was still living would forever be one of the most significant dates in American history. I pulled out some paper and dated the top of the page September 11, 2001, and attempted to write down how I was feeling at that moment in history. But I only got out a few sentences and it was just too hard. I was emotionally spent, and I remember placing the paper in my side table drawer and going to sleep, thinking I would return to it later. I never did. Those papers are probably still in there, buried by the stuff that invaded when my parents took over my room after I got married. But I don't think they said much at all - on that day, the words just didn't flow.





The next morning Mom and I headed out in town (in tiny Versailles, Kentucky) to buy a newspaper. I had never before or have never since experienced that full knowledge of living a significant historical moment in our country and our World. I remember the powerful surge of patriotism that followed - the countless flags and remembrances everywhere you looked. I remember proudly displaying a flag on my car, my apartment door, my office desk, and I remember feeling intensely proud to call myself an American. As horrific as that event was in our nation's history, it brought about a great awakening. No longer did I feel that our country had turned its back on God - I heard prayers and saw displays of faith that renewed my hope in One Nation Under God.

One year later we attended a 9/11 memorial service at Legends Field in Lexington. Thousands and thousands of people packed the stands to sing and lift up praises to God. The parking lot overflowed and cars were blocking the streets. I remember trying to get near the stadium and a man yelling out, "Hey, what's going on there tonight? Is it a concert?" And someone standing nearby answered, "No, it's a church service." Shocked, the man repeated, "A church service?!!" It was such an amazing feeling to look around that stadium and realize that this was my community, and that we as a society still call upon the Lord and give Him honor and praise. The service ended with fireworks as praise leaders continued to lead us in song... I remember tears streaming down my face as we sang, "God of wonders beyond our galaxy, you are holy" as fireworks exploded above our heads and we took back anything the terrorists aimed to take away from us - our faith, or freedom, our love, our hope, and our way of life.

Today, 10 years later, I find myself still very emotional about the events of that day. It's been a very long time since they have broadcast those disturbing images of planes striking the tower and people running around lower Manhattan covered in blood and ash. And the images of people jumping. I will never, ever, ever grow calloused to that sight. It wells up tears in my eyes every. single. time. I turned on the television this morning at 8:50 a.m., and watched live as they started to individually name each victim. They were still on the A's when we left for Bible class & church. They were on the S's when got back 3 hours later. I sat and watched until they finished. I braced myself for Wesley or Anna Kate to ask me why they were saying all those names, and I thought of how I would tell them about 9/11. But they never asked, and they don't like to see me cry and I've been close to tears all day, so I think I will save that discussion for another day. For one more day, they can live in a world they think is safe & void of true evil. My heart goes out to each and every parent that is missing a child, and child that is missing a parent, and husband that is missing a wife, and wife that is missing a husband, and family member or friend that is missing a loved one. I am proud to live in a nation where our hearts are so intertwined. Truly, we will never forget.

Nice, relaxing Labor Day weekend...

Looks fun, doesn't it?! Michael spent Labor Day weekend putting together the playground that Wesley & Anna Kate got for their birthdays this summer. I have to admit that I doubted Micheal's ability to construct this completely on his own. Even Michael seemed to question its feasibility... until we learned that the fee for having it constructed was over $500. Then he was confident he could do it. Ha. I should have zoomed in on the five million bolts and screws and other tiny parts laid out on the table. It gave me a headache just thinking about it.





Breaking ground, Saturday, September 3. Michael worked until dark and then started again after we got home from church Sunday, and then worked from dawn until dusk on Monday (Labor Day). The kids were starting to slow him down, so I took the girls in. But Wesley was a trooper - he stayed outside with Daddy all day long on Saturday and dutifully retrieved boards and other tools for Daddy. Michael was able to complete all but the climbing wall by Monday night, and he completed that Tuesday evening when he got home from work.





Tah-Dah!! Four stories high, when you count the ground floor with the picnic table (behind the climbing wall) and Michael did the entire thing by himself! I don't know if I've ever been more in awe of my husband's capabilities. The kids love the teeter-totter because they can propel it themselves and don't have to be pushed (hopefully now that we have our own playground we can practice pumping!). I ordered the red bucket swing on Amazon to replace one of the regular swings so Carigan could have just as much fun in our backyard as she can the neighborhood park.





Wes & AK were being so sweet & angelic sitting there with their arms around each other posing for the camera, but Carigan was climbing all over the place, so she kind of blocked them. Monday evening after Michael attached the slide, Carigan climbed the stairs and went down the slide again & again & again & again while he worked. We're ready for winter!! For all of you non-Floridians, that's when we play outside down here! It's really too hot and buggy to enjoy it too much right now; I have to bug spray 'em and put 'em in the bath as soon as they come inside. But we're looking forward to cooler temps and long afternoons playing in our backyard wonderland!

Princesses on Ice

Back in July we got invited to a FREE event at the Lakeland Center to kick off the sale of tickets to Princesses on Ice. It involved free carriage rides, free cupcakes, punch & goodies, free crafts, free photo-ops, and free hair glitter... who could turn that down?? I really had no intention of actually purchasing Princesses on Ice tickets, but I tell ya, those tricky-tricky marketing geniuses over there know what they're doing! Of COURSE I ended up buying tickets. At least there were $5 off coupons in the goody bags!





All the kids were supposed to dress up like princesses and princes. We don't have any prince garb sitting around, so Wes decided to go as a pirate. We got to ride the carriage with Kendall & Megan - and a sweet little princess that clearly wasn't accustomed to our level of personality! July 22, 2011





Friday night was the big night! I let Anna Kate dress herself. She wanted to wear her "royal dress." She loves it because pretty much all the Disney princess movies end with a wedding where the princess wears a white dress. It's kind of her all-in-one princess dress. She accessorized herself (that actually is a tiara on her head, not an old granny hat - it's just tipped back). I'm the one that packed the light-up glasses though; I know when I'm heading into a place where they're going to be hawking expensive light-up thing-a-mi-jigs, and I come prepared!!

My sweet boy can never be left out of the fun. I thought about not even purchasing him a ticket, but I can't stand to leave him out of anything because he's always so enthusiastic about everything! I just told him it was Disney on Ice, not Princesses on Ice. When he saw Anna Kate was dressing up, he wanted to go as a Star Wars character. I told him he at least had to go as a Disney character, so that's when he emerged from his room wearing his Mr. Incredible costume. There were a lot of little princesses all over the arena, but he was the only Mr. Incredible - he received quite a lot of attention.





The first act was Princess & the Frog. I've actually never watched the movie, but the kids have, so I'd ask them questions to fill in the blanks. Oh, and poor Wesley - he was terrified the whole night that he would get lost. The night before I told him the story about how I got lost in a giant arena in Denver when my parents took me to see Disney on Ice when I was about his age. True story - it's one of my earliest memories and I wrote a short story about it in 5th or 6th grade and my teacher submitted it to some contest and it won and I was invited to read it at some Carnegie Hall event. Have no idea where that short story is now. Probably on an old black floppy disk (no, seriously, the type that was actually floppy) where I thought it would be preserved forever.

Anywho, there was one of those giant restrooms with numerous entrances and I went out the wrong door while my parents waited by the other door. I was about 5 and I remember roaming the super-crowded halls until a lady noticed I was lost and lifted me up on her shoulders to look for my parents. I remember telling her I couldn't see them, and she walked with me until she found a security/police officer. And of course my parents had already gone to security to report me missing, so it didn't take them that long to reunite us. I remember the worst part being that the show started again (I got lost during intermission) and I REALLY didn't want to miss the show. Before the lady found me, I peeked inside the arena and I remember seeing Snow White and I remember seriously contemplating just having a seat and watching the rest of the show. But I know my parents would not be happy if I did, so I pulled myself away and kept looking.

So I told Wesley this story, thinking it would be added incentive for the kids to stick close... the entire time I was telling the story, Wesley's face turned more and more alarmed until I seriously thought he was going to break into tears. I had to switch into downplay mode and assure him that I would never lose him. But the ENTIRE time we were at the Lakeland Center, Wesley held on the me for dear life. Five minutes into the show he asked if he could sit in my lap so he wouldn't get lost. He was also extremely worried that we would lose Anna Kate. As soon as the house lights came up at intermission, Wes grabbed Anna Kate's hand and looked her in the eye and said, "Anna Kate, hold on to Mommy so you don't get lost, okay??" Poor guy. I think the whole night was more stressful for him than anything.





The second act was Cinderella. The wicked stepsisters were really funny. Anna Kate loved Cinderella's carriage! The first half was cute, but my traumatized son was asking to go home and Anna Kate was tired. But after intermission they finally got to Tangled, and both kids perked up and had a great time. It was by far the best part of the show. They giggled and giggled at Flynn Rider motioning to all of us not to point him out as he was trying to sneak down to grab the crown:





Flynn & Rapunzel were the only performers to take to the sky, flying on Rapunzel's hair! Very, very cool! Hands-down Anna Kate's favorite part was the "I have a dream" song. Cracks her up.





After Flynn had saved Rapunzel by cutting her hair, they walked to the edge of the stage and a little girl chosen from the audience was holding a single lantern & together they released it into the air. The next thing I knew there were lanterns everywhere, descending from the ceiling.





I debated whether or not to mention this here, but I completely lost it when the lanterns appeared. I'm glad it was dark, and that Wes was on my lap, because I could just hold on to him and cry without the kids noticing. Tangled was released very soon after Susan died last year, and the lantern scene to me has always represented missing & honoring her. Right after she died I felt surrounded by others that were hurting and missing her as well, but as weeks turned into months, it sometimes felt (although I knew it wasn't true) like I was alone in my grief. It was hard when the time came for people to put on a brave face and the thing to do seemed to go from talking about her all the time, to avoiding mention of her name. I know that everyone was still missing her, but it became harder for us to express it publicly as time passed. The lantern scene in Tangled really gets to me emotionally, because I'm so touched by the gesture of the entire kingdom sharing in the King and Queen's grief over missing their daughter. Just that visual representation of a whole community remembering the lost princess really moves me. I cried and cried the first time I saw it, and then when I saw it again at the discount movies months later, I was sure that since I knew the scene was coming, I wouldn't cry. But it came and the exact same wave of emotions came over me and I cried as much as I did the first time.

And being there live among the lanterns Friday night, as we're nearing the 1-year anniversary of Susan's death, it hit me hard. It's a good, cathartic kind of emotion though... to me those lanterns are messages of love and thankfulness floating up to Susan, assuring her that she is not forgotten. It's like a memorial service to honor her. I cried, I missed Susan, I told her I love her, I thanked her for every moment she blessed me with. She will truly never be forgotten. I know that's heavy for Princesses on Ice, but I realize how much it means to me to think that others are still missing and honoring Susan, and I wanted to put it out there that I'm missing her and thinking of her every single day. So you're not alone.... we can lift out lanterns together.





For the finale, every single Disney princess came out (in their royal dresses, much to Anna Kate's excitement!) to welcome Rapunzel back to the kingdom. Tiana, Cinderella, Belle, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, Jasmine, Mulan, AND Rapunzel all at the same time!! Anna Kate was mesmerized... and very pleased with herself that she thought to wear her royal dress!

Such a magical night! And having successfully resisted $22 snow cones in commemorative cups and $12 popcorn in plastic buckets (they asked, but were sweet to be patient when I promised them something after the show), we stopped at McDonald's on the way home. They each got a Happy Meal and they were on sale for $1.99 so my $4 that could have bought a fifth of a snow cone got each kid their own nuggets, fries, drink, and toy. They really just wanted the drink and toy, but that was fine with me... I enjoyed the smiles on their faces all the way home.